the little green monster/ i’m back!

Well hello there! It’s been a while- two months and three days to be exact- since I have blogged. The silence has been incredibly good for me and God has taught me so much over this summer that I can’t wait to share.

I also took an unplanned break from Facebook for several weeks, and it’s amazing how much I could learn by listening only to God and the people in my “real life” for a while. And books. I read lots of books. But I’m back, and for the first time since my break, I had the overwhelming desire to blog.

I love the blogging world, the friendships I’ve created, the encouragement that comes from like-minded (and not-so-like-minded!) women but taking a step back allowed me to see that blogging, or just reading blogs, can create that nasty green monster within us- envy.
It’s true that envy can come from many, many sources but it seems, for me anyway, that peoples’ envy of bloggers is pretty rampant. I say this because I’ve seen people write comments such as, “I’m so envious of you! You’re so perfect! You’re life is awesome! If I could only be you!” Seems pretty straightforward to me.
When the internet causes envy
And that breaks my heart. God has chosen a path for each of us specifically, and he desires for us to live our life. If we spend our time pining over the fact we don’t have glorious blonde hair like blogger x, or a Better Homes and Gardens house like blogger y, or 4 beautiful children like blogger z, (oh wait, that’s me! Totally kidding.) then we can miss out on the chance to see what God has for us.
I think the reason it’s easy to be jealous of bloggers is that they are “real” people who have what seems just out of our reach. It’s different than movie star fame or model status, which probably seems unattainable to most of us. However, most of these women clean their own (gorgeous) houses and may still have a (very well-paying) day job.  They shop at Target like us and take their kids to baseball practice. And to exacerbate matters, we may read 10 blogs a day, and think we can combine the goodness of all the women into one perfect ideal woman. This is a lie that our own hearts can tell us.

 

Take a hard look at what God, in his sovereignty, has placed in your life. I have been thinking about this myself and God has been so gracious to cultivate a heart of gratitude.

Sure, I don’t have a perfect waistline, but I have carried 4 children, three of whom weighed well over 10 pounds. That tends to distend the body a little. * wink *  I love these children to pieces and would not exchange the body of my former days for their precious lives.

 

Maybe our church plant isn’t the hugest or the coolest, but the people God has given us to serve are precious and life-giving and so eager to learn God’s word.

I drive a 7 year old mini-van, that believe me, bears the scars of many children- but it is reliable and safe.

I know we can learn amazing, helpful ideas from reading other blogs. Believe me, I have learned so much from other women who have travelled similar roads before me.
However, dear sisters, if reading blogs is causing you to envy, this is sin. And God’s word is pretty clear about things which cause us to sin- get rid of them as much as possible. (Matthew 5:30)  

If you need to take a break and refocus on the good things God has given you, I urge you to do that.  He can and will open your eyes to the gifts with which he has blessed you- and how you can use those gifts to bless others. It’s a beautiful thing!

Has reading other blogs caused you to envy?

 

What are you thankful for today?
About Kelli Hays

Kelli Hays is a wife, mother, writer, and friend. She has been blogging since 2008 and loves sharing inspiration for the everyday woman!

Comments

  1. Beautiful post Kelli! I love your honest heart. I admit I used to find myself following blogs on a daily basis and pining over how elegant, or fancy, or cooler their lives were. I had to stop doing that. My heart was becoming so distressed for no reason. Now I only read blogs a few times week, and I try to keep them limited to women I personally know or women from out christian ladies group. I am still a WIP but i’m getting there. Lately I have been wanting a house, vs our apartment, for the potential of painting and decorating. I am working on and praying on loving just what I have. I have exactly what I need, I need to be content with that. Today I am thankful for that. p.s. I was reading Genesis today and came across Canaan, which made me think of you guys, again.

  2. Beautifully said!

  3. “And to
    exacerbate matters, we may read 10 blogs a day, and think we can combine the
    goodness of all the women into one perfect ideal woman. This is a lie that
    our own hearts can tell us.”

    You are so right! I needed to hear this today. It reinforces a lot that God has been teaching me, about trying to please other people and be a million different things wrapped up into one. He’s shown me so much lately how I don’t take near enough time to just stop and enjoy Him, praise Him, love Him, and take Him for who He is, and all that He has done/is doing in my life.
    Thank you 🙂

    Nicole
    settleinn.blogspot.com

  4. Good points Kelli! I liked the part Nicole quoted best also, it’s so true!
    Although I do want to let your readers know that our church plant really IS the coolest 😉

  5. Thanks Patty! Miss you guys!

  6. Dear Aleks, I love you! You are such an encouragement to me! I think you should come see us in Texas before Canaan gets too big! 😉

  7. Nicole, thanks for reading and taking time to respond! I pray they God gives us both a spirit of continual contentment!

  8. I love you 🙂 and our church is cool because of people like you!

  9. Love this! Glad you are back!! 🙂 I haven’t been as “present” the past few months or so, but I’m trying to get back in and reconnect. I miss everyone!

  10. I love this, too! Thanks for just callin’ it like it is and reminding us that envy is sin, even if it’s just from reading a blog. Convicted. Thanks, Kelli!

  11. I’m visiting from Desire to Inspire. Our hearts do like to tell us the lie of perfection, don’t they? This is a great reminder to guard our hearts against envy and the even the lies of perfectionism. Thanks! 🙂

  12. Definitely not. I focus on living an “authentic life” and everyday express gratitude. My arms are open to receive the many gifts that have been bestowed upon me. A loving husband for more than fifty-three years, three beautiful and supportive children, and five grandchildren that I cherish. Enough food. A warm bed and transportation to get me where I need to go. I am grounded spiritually and strive to live my life in accordance without Creators plan for me. Welcome back.

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