A Story about Insecurity- So Long Insecurity

a story about insecurity at eatprayreadlove.com
(warning: long blog post ahead!)

This past semester, one of the small groups in our church did a study of Beth Moore’s book So Long Insecurity. I was able to participate and LOVED being in a women’s-only group. This book is so, so good for so many reasons.

My beautiful friend Nikki who led the study.
We have to be pretty secure to post a makeup-less picture right? ;)

Honestly, I did not think I needed this book too much at first. For some reason,  I have not struggled in many of areas of insecurity that many women do. I don’t obsess about my looks, and I got married very young and have an amazing husband who constantly affirms me, so I haven’t really had issues with guys and insecurity that many women have. I don’t work outside the home, so I don’t have corporate pressure to measure up.

 However. When I opened this book, I realize that I struggle in a whole different way: relationships with women. Ask my husband, I have stayed up too late many a night worried that I offended this friend, or that this group of friends didn’t like me because I didn’t get invited to whatever event, or any number of scenarios I had conjured up in my head. He would try to assure me that this wasn’t the case, but I wasn’t listening.

Any comment that was said to me that was in the least bit negative I would obsess over. I would be short with my husband, impatient with my kids over instances like this. As I mentioned earlier, I would sometimes lose sleep.

Reading this book really convicted me. First of all, I learned that most times, the comments that I took to be offensive were probably not meant that way. In these instances, my friends were probably just having a bad day. I didn’t need to worry that a years-long relationship was ruined because the other person was having a little PMS! :)
Secondly, and this was very eye-opening for me, I learned that choosing to continue being insecure was actually a very selfish act. It makes everything about me. An insecure woman can’t function correctly in her day-to-day life because she is constantly worried about what others think about her.


insecurity at eatprayreadlove.com
The book also made me very aware of how I build up and encourage other women. If we feel that we have a handle on being a secure woman, why would we not to share that joy and freedom with other women? I didn’t know why so many women insist on being back-biting enemies- but through reading this book I learned that it is probably because they are feeling insecure in some area!
If you are a woman reading this post, I lovingly suggest you read this book. So many different issues are covered. Maybe you are like I was, thinking I was already had security down pat. And if you truly are a secure woman, that is awesome! Maybe you could give this book as a gift to another woman who struggles?


some of the beautiful women (inside and out!)
God has put in my life.
A story to wrap up this post that has been on my heart:
I work out regularly at the YMCA. One day I had to go somewhere after working out so I ran downstairs to the women’s locker room and changed. When I got out of the dressing room, my hair.was.awful. Now I said that I don’t usually worry too much about my looks, but this was baaaaad! There was another woman there blow-drying her hair, and her straightener was heating up.

I stepped to the sink beside her, and my first thought was, she is going to think I am such a slob! Nevertheless, I pulled out my gel and began to try to redeem my hair at least a little bit by “scrunching” it.

A few minutes later, the woman turned off her dryer and looked straight at me in the mirror.

She asked me, “Did you just work out?” I answered in the affirmative. She then said, “Your hair looks amazing! I can’t believe how good it looks just after working out!”

My jaw just about fell to the floor. I mumbled something about it being my “lazy-day” look and then said good-bye. When I got out in my car, I had a little Jesus moment, thanking him for that unsuspecting stranger.

I thank God for sending that lady to minister to me that day.
(Click here to buy So Long Insecurity {affiliate link})


About Kelli Hays

Kelli Hays is a wife, mother, writer, and friend. She has been blogging since 2008 and loves sharing inspiration for the everyday woman!


  1. I totally need to get this book. I tend to think too much about my interactions with other girl friends a lot. I’ve started to break away from a lot of previous insecurities in the last year, but I want to be completely free. Thanks for the book recommendation and sharing your experience!

  2. Amen Kellie! I needed this post today more than you could know…actually it seems you do know and understand. Thank you.


  3. Fabia Hill says:

    can I borrow it?

  4. Paula Chaffin says:

    Kellie, Thank you for sharing about this study. We moved away, my husband retired at 50, from ALL of my friends to our place in the country. Two hours away. I go to church and when “Mother Hubbard’s cupboard is bare, I go to the grocery store.
    I have become a hermit because the people in our small town are NOT welcoming at all. We love our church but no matter how many times you invite people over, they WILL NOT reciprocate! I so need that book!!

  5. Carmelle Tsai says:

    Love your honesty :) God gives great stories!!

  6. Courtney, you are so very welcome. And praise God that you are on the quest for security- it is one that he will bless! Thanks for reading.

  7. Even better, how about I get it for your b-day? It’s one you’ll want to highlight and write in. :)

  8. Wow Paula, I am so sorry. That sounds like a really tough spot in life. If you will e-mail me benandkelli01 at aol dot com, I want to send you something.

  9. Love you! He loves the stories he writes, right? :)


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