Dear mama who had a c-section,
I feel you. I know the burning questions you have of “wasn’t my body made for giving birth?” and “will I bond with my baby the same way as if I’d had a natural birth?”
To answer the first question, yes, a woman’s body is made to give birth in an ideal world. But our world, isn’t always ideal and therefore our bodies don’t always perform in ideal ways. No one is made to feel guilty for being diagnosed with cancer or having a heart attack, and having a c-section for medical reasons is no different. Our bodies aren’t perfect and nobody’s works the exact same way.
And to answer the second question- Yes, yes, yes! If c-section mamas couldn’t bond with their babes, that would mean no father or adoptive parent could bond with their children, and NOBODY believes that! The love I feel for each of my children is all-encompassing.
With the recent reappearance of midwife births and the thousands of women who don’t use an epidural (both of which are amazing if you’re able to do!) it’s easy to let those questions eat you alive.
Motherhood is filled with so much guilt. So. much. guilt. How many of you have thought any of these?
I yelled too much today.
I didn’t breastfeed long enough.
My kids aren’t going to the best schools.
We don’t eat enough vegetables.
So why must we c-section mamas feel bad about the method in which our child entered the world? We still did the hard work. We carried that precious bundle for months and months, and we get allllll the work ahead of us for the next 18+ years. We suffered pain from the c-section recovery (and some of you suffered through labor, then still had a c-section!)
I used to feel that having a c-section made me a “less-than” woman. But I read something on another blog a few years back that really stuck with me. Your child’s birth- whether it’s 100% natural, at home in the bathtub or a c-section in a cold, sterile operating room- is one day. ONE DAY. Of your whole child’s life. He or she will certainly not remember the method by which he entered the world. I promise you that.
So ladies, let’s do each other a favor? Encourage one another. Don’t try to make another lady feel like she is less of a mother because she has a scar in a different place than you. For those of us who can’t use a midwife, let’s affirm those who choose to. We will all get 100% of the mothering experience- no matter which way our babies got here! And it’s way too hard a path to walk alone. We need each other!
If you’re a mom, I’d love to hear your birth stories! What woman doesn’t love a good birth story, right?