Our little boy Landon was born in May of 2005. He seemed like a perfectly healthy big boy. Ten pounds, ten ounces, to be exact. The first 24 hours of his life were like a dream, with lots of cuddling and kissing and visitors floating in and out.
However, the next day, his doctors discovered something wrong with him. I remember his pediatrician saying, “It’s probably not biliary atresia, but if it is he needs surgery before he’s 3 months old.” It’s probably not what? We’d never heard those words before. And surgery? On our healthy boy? On a baby?
Sent to another hospital. Lots and lots of meetings with his wonderful NICU doctors. Lots and lots of lab tests, which translates to lots and lots of heel sticks on our precious little one. More of the dream-like state, but now it was a nightmare, and not a good dream. One doctor casually said, “We hope it’s not biliary atresia, because those are the kids that go on to liver transplant.” Not exactly something you say to a mom who is already on the verge of emotional collapse.
I remember laying in our hospitality-house room- crying and thinking, “Why? Why us?”
Fast-forward 7 weeks. After much time spent in prayer on our part, and much diagnostic testing on the doctors’ part (he’d been transferred to another hospital at 1 day old), July 18th was the day it all boiled down to. The surgery we’d hoped to avoid, from the moment it first slipped from the pedi’s lips.
The surgeon, whom we trusted from the minute we met him, told us he would spend about one hour finalizing the diagnosis by exploratory surgery, then come out to tell us the verdict and return to the operating room to complete the corrective portion of the surgery (if needed).
Two hours passed, then three. Three and a half. Finally the surgeon came out to talk to us, and the 25-30 family members and friends waiting with us.
The surgeon told us, in so many words, that it was in fact biliary atresia. Ben slid to the ground, head in hands. It was the second time in the 7 week, eternally-long journey that I had seen my strong husband utterly break down. That hurt.
After the doctor returned to the OR, we still had 5 hours before the surgery was finished- this would bring the total time to 9 hours. Five more hours to try to hold our composure together {pretty much a failed attempt}, while we could not hold our baby boy. After the surgery was completed, the surgeon then came to tell us a few more things- of which the only words I remember are “weeping bile.” Yes, that is all I can recollect from our meeting with him in that cold, sterile “family room.”
But then I got to see him. I saw lots of tubes, and drains, and monitors, but underneath all the medical entrapments, I saw my son. So tiny {relatively anyway}, but so strong. Enduring what many people never endure in their entire lifetimes- a 9 hour surgery- before his 2 month birthday.
Thankfully during this time, finances were not something we had to worry about. Our insurance covered most of Landon’s hospitalizations, and generous friends and family would slip us cash here and there. I know for many people, however, a sudden event like this can completely drain their bank accounts. Not only are there the enormous medical bills, but unexpected hotel stays, eating out, parking fees- it can add up SO fast.
I’m so thankful organizations like GiveForward exist for this very reason. GiveForward’s mission is to help families set up online fundraising when they’re going through a difficult time, whether it be illness, injury, or death of a loved one. Anyone can easily set up a fundraiser for a family member or friend who needs financial assistance.
So many people wonder what to do to help friends in a time of crisis. It can be awkward asking a loved one “do you need any financial help?” but when a fundraiser is set up through an organization like GiveForward, it’s easy to help out- even if you live across the country from them.
Living minutes from the world’s largest medical center, The Texas Medical Center, we constantly meet people who could use GiveForward’s services. I can’t wait to share about them with the next family we meet who needs help!
Give Forward has also set up an amazing ambassador program for those who want to help spread the word about them. You can go here for more information. This organization does something that is near and dear to my heart, and I’m so glad to have the opportunity to share their mission.
This post is sponsored by Give Forward, but all opinions are my own.
PS for more info about Landon’s story, you can read my new e-book, His Grace is Enough!
About Kelli Hays
I haven’t heard of this organization before but I’m so glad that it exists! My twins were born premature and spent two weeks in the NICU, but we were blessed to live close to the hospital and be surrounded by family. I can only imagine having to travel great distances or be alone in at a time like that.
Our older daughter was born at 26 weeks and had a 135 day NICU stay. I can recall those feelings with absolute clarity.