We’re Expecting!

Hi friends! Just wanted to let you know that one of the reasons I’ve been a little MIA lately is that we’re expecting a little one! But… I’m not pregnant! How does that work, you may ask?

Well, my husband and I have been talking about adoption- albeit very casually- for several years. Last November, my son Landon brought up adoption to me and felt like God had given him directions for adoption when he’s an adult. I love that kid and his sensitivity to God’s voice- he’s only 11!

That got me to thinking about adoption- and how it really encompasses the heart of God towards us, whom he adopted through Jesus Christ into his family. I began mentioning adoption to Ben more seriously in April of this year and praying about what we were supposed to do. Hello, we already have 4 kids?!?!

On Father’s Day, we had two adoptive families share at our church. One of them mentioned that as many as 90% of Christians consider/talk about adoption at some point (as we had been doing!) but only about 15% actually follow through. Ouch. Now adoption isn’t for everyone- one of the speakers also mentioned that if only ONE family from every TWO churches in our state adopted ONE child, there would be no parent-less children in Texas. (Of course, this doesn’t even touch on the need for people to adopt internationally.)


During church that day, I told my husband I was ready to proceed but I wasn’t going to push him. His response? “You’re obeying God’s word, and I’m not going to tell you no on that!” I am so thankful to have this man in my life. About half-way through our training, he passed a note to me that said, “I’m all in.” It took everything in me not to burst into tears! He was willing to step out in faith on something that God had told me to do, and God brought his heart along.

For many reasons, we decided to go the route of foster-to-adopt. We began our training on July 6 (once we committed, we weren’t going to sit around any longer!) with Arrow Child and Family Ministries. I HIGHLY recommend this agency and it’s been a joy to work with them.

On Friday of this last week, our trainer from the agency e-mailed to tell us that our homestudy was approved and they were turning all of our paper work to CPS! We should be licensed in about a week. So we expecting a child very soon!

But we’re expecting something else as well, that isn’t nearly as fun.

 We’re expecting our hearts to be broken

The #1 question we get asked is, “What are you going to do when a child leaves your home?” usually followed by “I couldn’t let a child go that I’d taken care of.”  (Since we’re doing foster-to-adopt, the children we take in to our home won’t necessarily be adopted and may go back to their birth families at some point.)

My answer has changed over the course of these few months. My initial answer was that we are going to be broken-hearted and miss that little guy or gal. How am I going to do this? Anyone who stays in your home for a while captures a piece of your heart, and caring for, and potentially letting go of, a little one whose life hasn’t been easy will certainly be heart-wrenching.

But what God has been speaking into my heart these last few weeks and what I hope to share with others is, “Ministry to people isn’t supposed to be easy.” whoa. Sometimes it’s tempting to say that my life is too full already to look outwardly to those in need around me. I have 4 kids, 3 whom I homeschool three days a week with a  crazy-intense curriculum. I’m a pastor’s wife that counsels with women from our church on a semi-regular basis. I write this blog as a part-time job. Just keeping up with my “regular life” can sometimes be overwhelming. But God knows all of that and called us to fostering/adopting anyway.

And guess what? Already, just through training, our hearts are broken for the sheer need of foster homes. Throughout the course of our training this summer, our trainers told us that children were sleeping on the floor in CPS offices because there weren’t enough homes for them. In a state that proudly calls itself part of the Bible belt, this broke my heart!

So you see, yes, our hearts will be broken when our little ones inevitably leave. But our hearts are already broken for those who don’t have a safe place to call home right now. Our prayer is that for the amount of time that we have with those precious kids, we will be the hands and feet of Jesus to them.

If you’re one of those who have considered fostering or adoption can I gently speak a little truth right now? There will never be a perfect time. You’ll never have the perfect house.  (we downsized by 800 square feet less than a year ago!) If you already have children, they will *always* be keeping you busy, no matter their ages. Trust me. But it’s a huge way to include them in a tangible way of showing God’s love to others.

As I said before, we’re not all called to foster or adopt. But if you’re a Christian, you are called to care for orphans in some way. (James 1:27) Consider sponsoring a child through Compassion International. Become a respite care worker to provide a place for your friends who are fostering to safely leave their foster child while they go away for the weekend. Donate to one of my favorite organization, SHOES ministry, which helps to provide essential items to those who are fostering or caring for relatives’ children and can’t always afford new beds, linens, clothes, shoes, and school supplies for the children they take in.

And above all, whatever you do, remember that ministry, whatever ministry you’re called to, isn’t supposed to be easy. But God will supply what you need!

(On side note, my sister and her husband, who have two kids, began fostering three kids about 6 weeks ago. Three weeks later, she found out she was expecting a baby!) 

About Kelli Hays

Kelli Hays is a wife, mother, writer, and friend. She has been blogging since 2008 and loves sharing inspiration for the everyday woman!


  1. If you are a Christian, you are called to care for orphans in some way.

    Amen! From this foster/adoptive mama, blessings on a journey that is bound to change you in beautiful, broken, Jesus-filled ways.